


Hurt

by Python07



Series: A Fixed Point [10]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 20:19:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7068583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor has to work to make it up to Alistair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hurt

He could pretty easily ignore Yates. And Benton. They were good chaps but they were blindly loyal to the Brigadier.

And the dirty looks from the troops. They were ordinary soldiers. He didn’t expect them to understand or think for themselves. They self-concussed every time they saluted. No, he didn’t expect critical thinking skills.

It was Jo and her big brown eyes that wouldn’t let him alone. She’d followed him into the lab and grabbed his arm. She was so earnest as she peered up at him. “Doctor, you hurt him.”

The Doctor’s brow furrowed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Jo squeezed his arm. “You did.”

The Doctor shook his head and replied dismissively, “The Brigadier has a thick skin, believe me.”

Jo dug her nails in. “That wasn’t like your normal bickering,” she said, still extremely earnest.

The Doctor hissed a bit and tried to pull his arm away. He enunciated slowly and crisply. “We do not bicker.”

Jo refused to let go. Her expression morphed to one of extreme disappointment. “Debates then,” she said softly, but as if he was being deliberately dense. “Doctor,” she bit her lip. “What you said was horrible.”

“I…” the Doctor spluttered, suddenly red in the face. He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “I…”

“Do you really think that, that the Brigadier is a murderer?”

“Don’t you have to blink?” the Doctor suddenly blurted out. 

Jo didn’t blink, just watched him mournfully.

The Doctor couldn’t speak for a long moment. Then the words came out in an embarrassed rush. “Of course not! The heat of the moment…”

“Doctor, you didn’t see your face,” Jo whispered. “I’ve never seen you like that. And did you notice the look in his eyes?”

The Doctor let out a shaky breath. He stopped meeting her gaze. “Jo, we disagree on a regular basis. It’ll blow over just as it normally does.”

Jo stretched on her toes to peck his cheek. She sighed. “Oh, Doctor. No. You hurt him.” She put a hand on the Doctor’s chest, over his hearts. “Here. And unless I’ve been misreading the signals between you two all this time, you have to put it right.”

“How?” the Doctor rasped.

Jo smiled sadly. “I’d start with an apology.” She pecked him on the cheek again. “A sincere one.”

The Doctor hugged her. “Okay, Jo. I’ll give it a shot.”

That’s why the Doctor found himself standing outside in the early morning hours before most of the base was up. He stood by the path Alistair usually ran on most days. He shifted impatiently, glancing at the door. 

The Doctor paced a bit. He knew the sentries were eyeing him but he ignored them. It was well past Alistair’s time when he finally went back inside.

He stuck his head inside the mess hall. He chose not to comment on the fact that all conversation ceased when the men saw him. He didn’t see Alistair. He smiled brightly. “I’ll let you chaps enjoy your coffee in peace.”

He made his way to Alistair’s office. He stopped in front of the secretary’s desk. The redhead was typing away. She didn’t even have the courtesy to look at him. “Good morning, Alison,” he greeted cheerfully. 

“Morning, Doctor,” she answered in a clipped tone.

The Doctor frowned. “Pardon me, but you’re always so cheerful. Is something the matter?”

Alison looked at him with an overly polite expression, except for her eyes. They were blue and hard. Her Scottish accent was harder than normal. “No. Why would anything be the matter?”

The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck and had to stop himself from shifting uneasily under her gaze. He nodded towards the door to the inner office. “Is he in?”

“No. The minister sent for him this morning,” Alison answered flatly and went back to her typing.

The Doctor swallowed and ventured, “Do you know when he’ll be back?”

Alison typed the keys harder than necessary. “No.”

The Doctor backed out slowly. “Very well. I’ll try back later.”

“You do that.”

The Doctor waited until he was out of sight before he turned his back. He wouldn’t admit to retreating back to his lab, but he hurried and he didn’t make any more stops. He shut the door and leaned against it. He rubbed his chest, against the knot slowly forming under his ribcage.

He heard voices approaching. He almost jumped to the lab table and grabbed the first test tube he could find. He pretended to examine it when Jo walked in, followed closely by Sergeant Benton.

“Morning, Doctor,” Jo chirped in her usual good cheer.

“Morning, Jo,” the Doctor returned absently.

Benton cleared his throat. “Gotta go, Jo.”

“But,” Jo tried to protest.

The Doctor tilted his head to the side just enough to see Benton press a white paper bag into her hands. He couldn’t help but notice Benton going out of his way not to look at him or acknowledge him in any way. He focused back on the test tube.

“Thanks for the coffee, but I have to get back to duty,” Benton said hurriedly and disappeared.

Jo sighed and went to join the Doctor. She perched on a stool and gave him the bag. She put a cup of coffee in front of him. “Just the way you like it and they had one cheese Danish left. I know how you feel about food from the mess, especially breakfast.”

“Thanks,” the Doctor mumbled, ignoring the food and the coffee.

Jo sipped her coffee. “I’m guessing you haven’t been able to apologize,” she said casually.

The Doctor tried to appeared unaffected. “No, one of those ministers sent for him this morning,” he said blandly. “It doesn’t matter. I have plenty of work to do.”

Jo matched his tone. “Is that why the test tube is empty?”

The Doctor scowled and dropped it into its holder. “Fine.” He folded his arms across his chest and huffed, “You caught me. The whole base has been giving me the cold shoulder this morning.” He couldn’t keep up the grump in the face of her earnest, sympathetic face. His shoulders slumped. He drummed his fingers on the tabletop. “You were right. It was more than just our normal bickering.”

“It’ll be all right, Doctor,” Jo said cheerfully. She took his arm and leaned into his side. “And I told you that you two bicker, like an old married couple.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. One end of his mouth quirked up. However, he wouldn’t allow himself to smile. That would be telling.

Alistair didn’t return that evening. The Doctor eventually found out (more accurately, Jo found out and told him) that the minister sent him to Geneva. He couldn’t help pacing his lab in agitation.

Jo grabbed his arm and dragged him out. “Come on. Time for dinner.”

They sat outside at a small café in town. The Doctor didn’t even glance at his menu. “Couldn’t they have sent someone else?” he grumbled. “Some flunky?”

Jo giggled. “I should tell him you said that.”

“That’s not what I meant.” The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. “I know how he feels about bureaucratic red tape and stroking a politician’s ego. It drives him mad.”

“The Brigadier is a master at dealing with egos,” Jo replied, half seriously.

The Doctor glared at her but he couldn’t hold it against the warmth in her eyes. He grunted. “Point taken.”

Alistair didn’t return for another week and the Doctor finally heard that Alistair had decided to take a week’s leave. It was another week for the men to give him the cold shoulder It was another week for Yates and Benton to ignore him. It was another week for the Doctor to stew and hide in his lab.

Jo was watching him pace. Again. “Doctor,” she tried.

The Doctor waved a hand. “Do you realize I haven’t gotten any of the supplies I’ve ordered the last week? And no one’s been willing to help me out with the grunt work I usually need them for.” The words started coming out faster and faster. “On top of that, the boys in the motor pool refuse to work on Bessie and they won’t let me do the work. They said they’re waiting for a part or she won’t pass inspection.” He threw his hands up dramatically. “Honestly!”

“Doctor,” Jo tried again.

The Doctor spoke over her. “How stupid do they think I am?”

“Why don’t you just steal her back?” Jo asked innocently.

The Doctor’s lips curled into a sneer. “No. Captain Yates made it quite clear that I would have to be patient. Army red tape he said.” He stopped suddenly and his voice was much lower. “I don’t want this little…misunderstanding…to be the first thing Alistair hears about when he gets back.”

Jo stood up and stopped in front of him. “Have you settled on what you’re going to say?”

The Doctor rubbed his hands together nervously. “Not really. I expect I shall come up with something.”

Even when Alistair got back, the Doctor had trouble getting in to see him. First, Alison said that he was catching up on paper work and didn’t wish to be disturbed. Second, there were meetings. Then he was out on exercises with the men. Then there were visiting muckity-mucks and trailing members of the press. Yates and Benton had even taken to running in the mornings with Alistair.

He couldn’t corner Alistair before another alien threat. They worked as well together as ever. They saved the planet. It was becoming old hat really, except that Alistair only spoke to him in reference to the mission, nothing else. There was none of their usual banter.

He waited until the clean up was well under way. It was late, but after action Alistair always snuck a cigarette by his favorite old gnarled tree on the grounds of HQ. The tree didn’t have any leaves but it was stout.

The Doctor saw Alistair’s silhouette and the glowing tip of the cigarette. “I knew I’d find you out here.”

Alistair leaned against the tree. He took a deep drag from the cigarette and blew the smoke out slowly. “I wasn’t attempting to hide,” he said wearily.

“Not tonight anyway.” The Doctor came closer. He frowned at the dark stains on Alistair’s uniform.

Alistair put his head back against the trunk. He shut his eyes. “It’s not my blood.”

“Good.” The Doctor leaned against the tree next to Alistair. He was close but not touching. He was secretly grateful that Alistair didn’t tense at his proximity. He slid his hands into his pockets. He spoke quietly. “I know it’s not the time, but I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it.”

Alistair didn’t move and didn’t reply. He was completely still.

“I was angry.” The Doctor gave a self deprecating smile. “I let it get the better of me.” 

Again, Alistair didn’t react.

The Doctor watched Alistair intently. “You know I don’t really believe that, don’t you?”

Alistair took another drag. He still didn’t look at the Doctor. “I know.”

“Do you forgive me?”

Alistair finally looked at the Doctor. One end of his mouth quirked up, but his whole air was sad and resigned. “Yes.”

Something twisted in the Doctor’s gut. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Thank you.” He tried for his normal confidence but his voice faltered a little. “I don’t mind admitting that the men have made their displeasure with me quite plain.”

“Don’t worry. My men will follow my lead. They will treat you with the same professionalism that I do,” Alistair said in a maddeningly neutral tone. He took one last long drag on the cigarette before he stubbed it out against the tree. “If you’ll excuse me, Doctor. I have some condolence letters to write before I can sleep.”

The Doctor grabbed Alistair’s arm. “Wait,” he said with quite urgency.

This time, Alistair did tense. “Yes?” he asked, clipped.

The Doctor squeezed Alistair’s arm. “You were talking about our professional relationship. What about personally?”

Alistair jerked himself free. He straightened his uniform. He took a deep breath. His voice was level, with the current of emotion barely hidden underneath. “I don’t think it would be wise to revisit that. I can’t continue to open myself up to someone who could think that of me.”

“But I told you I didn’t mean it. You said you believed me.”

“I believe that you believe it and I’m not angry anymore.” Alistair shook his head. His shoulders slumped in exhaustion. “But you just see the uniform and what it can do for you or what it does wrong. I wonder if you’ve ever really seen the man underneath.” He turned away. “Good night, Doctor.”

The Doctor walked back to his lab, almost in a daze. The conversation with Alistair played over and over in his head. He blinked and found Jo asleep with her head down on the lab table.

The Doctor lightly touched her shoulder. “Jo.”

Jo jerked awake. She looked at him with blurry eyes. “Doctor.”

The Doctor gently took her arm and helped her stand. “It’s late. Come on. I’ll help you to your quarters.”

Jo leaned on him. She yawned. “What’s wrong?”

The Doctor wrapped an arm around her. “Nothing.”

Jo whined. “Don’t lie.”

The Doctor swallowed. “I’m not lying.”

Jo rubbed her eyes and looked up at him, all wide eyed and earnest. Her bottom lip wobbled. She sniffed.

The Doctor frowned. “Please don’t.” He looked away. “You know I can’t stand that face.”

Jo snuggled against him. “You’re tense. What is it?”

The Doctor sighed heavily. He hugged her back and held her head against his chest. “I was finally able to speak to the Brigadier. I apologized.”

“Doctor, your hearts are hammering,” Jo whispered. “What did he say?”

The Doctor’s throat was dry. “He said he doesn’t think I see him as a man, just a uniform.”

Jo pulled away just enough so she could look up at him. She smiled. “You’re just going to have to prove him wrong then.”

“How?” the Doctor asked at a loss.

“Well, he’s not right, is he? You know the man behind the Brigadier.”

The Doctor shifted uncomfortably with the way she was looking at him; fondly but also like he was being a prize idiot. “I’d like to think so.”

Jo pecked his cheek. “You’re a genius. Prove it.”

Prove it. Prove it. Prove it.

The Doctor couldn’t focus in his lab. He couldn’t focus on the repairs he was trying to make to the TARDIS. So, he bent his considerable will and skills to those two little words.

That led him to sitting in his lab with two metal bracelets. He traced the Gallifreyian designs. He slipped one of them on. He blew out a long breath and muttered, “This will be spectacular, success or failure.”

Alistair stepped in. “You said you have something to show me,” he said formally.

The Doctor forced a smile and held up the bracelet. “Some tech from the TARDIS. I think I’ve got it working.”

Alistair came closer. “What is it?”

“It’s a vortex manipulator.”

“Vortex manipulator,” Alistair repeated. He was at the Doctor’s side. He peered at the thin piece of metal. “What does it do?”

“I’m afraid the range is limited but it will serve the purpose.” The Doctor clamped it Alistair’s wrist. “Of quick and dirty, but effective, travel.”

Alistair’s eyes got wide and he barely had time to open his mouth before he disappeared. “Bloody…”

“Please, let this work.” The Doctor sent a quick prayer to every Deity he knew about and didn’t believe in before he activated his own bracelet. He materialized a split second after Alistair.

“…hell, Doctor,” Alistair finished. He stopped short when he saw their surroundings.

They were outdoors, alone on a plateau. The night sky was a deep indigo filled with twinkling stars and two blue moons. The air was cool and pleasant. There was a campfire, a tent, and an old fashioned telescope.

Alistair turned in a slow circle. He didn’t take his eyes from the stars. “It’s incredible,” he breathed. “Where are we?”

The Doctor didn’t take his eyes from the look of awe on Alistair’s face. “A small planet in the Malchis system.” He stepped closer. “You told me that your grandda used to take you camping and stargazing. I uh…I hope he’d approve.”

Alistair smiled. “Duncan Stewart was not easily impressed but I think this would’ve done it.” He blinked rapidly. “He would’ve demanded to know everything, the name of every single star and constellation.”

The Doctor stood next to Alistair. “Are you all right?”

Alistair cleared his throat. “Just missing him, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

Alistair waved that off. “No, Doctor. It’s all right.” He took a deep breath. “I’m surprised you remember me talking about him. I didn’t think you were paying attention.”

The Doctor stepped behind Alistair and pressed against his back. He leaned in close to Alistair’s ear. His hands found Alistair’s hips. “I always pay attention. When we’re together like this, when it’s just us, I do see you.”

Alistair leaned back into the Doctor. He let out a shaky breath. “Doctor.”

“I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise.” The Doctor nuzzled the side of Alistair’s neck. “Please, let me.”

Alistair let his head fall back against the Doctor’s shoulder. He brought one hand up to bury in the Doctor’s hair. “Yes.”


End file.
